Escape
by bminor
Summary: As high school graduation approaches, Veronica feels herself becoming someone she's not sure she wants to be. A talk with Mac makes her think that maybe college isn't the right choice. Veronica POV.


**A/N** : I wrote this a long time ago for a class assignment and now I'm publishing it here so all my stuff is in one place. Because it was for an assignment it's quite short, but I still like it enough as a snapshot into what could have happened if Veronica hadn't chosen to go to college straight away, and had worked on figuring out who she was and dealing with some of her issues.  
 **Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters, I make no money off of this, etc etc.

...

Life has a way of breaking young idealists. Veronica had discovered this through a series of events that would be difficult for a life-weary adult to deal with, let alone a 16 year-old who, up until that point, had only ever had to worry about getting good grades. Her life had been far from perfect, but by comparison to its current state, it had been nirvana.

By the end of high school, she was no longer that popular, carefree girl she used to be; she wasn't even sure she wanted to be. _There were some things_ , Veronica thought, _which changed you past the point of being able to pretend that you haven't experienced the very worst in people_.

In the past she'd never had reason to wonder what happens when people experience simultaneous doses of anger, grief and injustice; as she'd found out, the result was the desire to burst the bubble which her more malignant classmates seemed intent on living within. She was a sadder, angrier, more cynical version of the person she wanted to be, yet nothing about the future she'd planned made her feel she was capable of being anyone else.

During one of their final journalism classes, Veronica and Mac, one of the only people Veronica counted as a genuine friend, sat in the dim light of the computer lab. Neither were inspired by the story they had been assigned, and the conversation quickly changed when Mac pulled a letter out of her bag.

"Mac, tell me that's what I think it is," Veronica blurted.

"I got into M.I.T.'s computer engineering programme," Mac smiled.

Veronica rushed forward in an uncharacteristic display of affection and threw her arms around Mac's neck. "Massachusetts! Not only leaving the state but leaving the whole west coast. That's impressive dedication to telling Neptune to shove it," she grinned.

"The fact that M.I.T. is so far away is definitely a bonus, but _shockingly_ I chose my college based on their academic programme. It's not like Neptune will even notice I'm gone, anyway," she smirked, a flash of bright blue showing through the rest of her jet black hair as she tucked it behind her ear.

"Like M.I.T. could teach you anything anyway, you'll be correcting your professors. Seriously, Mac, I'm really happy for you," Veronica smiled, letting a rare moment of sincerity penetrate her otherwise acerbic exterior.

"What about you, Ms. Mars? Hearst or Harvard? If you go to Harvard you won't be far from me. We can have sleepovers and talk about boys!" she grinned, overflowing with faux enthusiasm.

"Hmm, that _does_ sound like us," Veronica laughed. "Actually, I'm leaning towards neither."

"Neither?" Mac questioned, eyebrows raised. "Does your dad know about this latest development?"

"Not yet. He's worked so hard to try to give me options for college. He wants me to be happy but he doesn't want me barely making enough to get by. It just seems like I'd be going to college to avoid working out what I actually want to do. At the risk of sounding like the world's biggest cliché, I think I need to 'find myself' or whatever," she groaned, making air quotes as she rolled her eyes.

"Well you haven't exactly had the easiest few years. It makes sense that you'd need some time to...figure things out," Mac replied apprehensively, choosing her words carefully and aware of the gross understatement therein.

"I just need to be in a place where people don't gossip about every crappy thing that's happened to me over the past three years. It's impossible to be anyone different when you're living with a suffix to your name, you know? It's just too much to carry around with me every day."

Mac nodded sympathetically. She wasn't used to Veronica being such an open book, and consequently wasn't quite sure how to respond to it; she had witnessed the emotional aftermath when others had misjudged that vulnerability. The biting wit, the cynicism, the quickness to attack; they were designed to keep people away, yet nobody seemed to understand just what it meant when Veronica let them close.

"So, what do you think you might do?" Mac asked, gingerly.

"There's a photography exhibition in Arizona next month. I'll start there and see where it takes me. Maybe I can start using my camera for good instead of evil," she smiled. "The plan is having no plan. I don't want to look at my life in 10 years and feel that it only came about because the small stuff just snowballed into a future."

Although their journalism lab required their voices to be hushed, Veronica had become more animated, and it was clear to Mac that this was not an impulsive decision she had made simply to get away from her tormentors.

"Maybe you're right, Veronica. I don't totally understand it, but maybe the best thing is for you to choose what happens for a while. If you think you could be happy, you should do it. Even if your dad has an initial freak-out, I'm sure he'll come round. You know how much he loves you," she offered.

After a moment of thought, Veronica smiled, reassuring Mac that she hadn't said the wrong thing.

"You're kind of awesome, Mac. Maybe I should make sure my travels take me to Massachusetts at some point," she grinned.

The bell rang to signal the end of the day, and within seconds most of the class had escaped through the door of the dim lab and out into the startling light of the corridor.

"You better," Mac warned, the mock threat evident in the appearance of her dimples.

As they walked out to their cars together, it occurred to Veronica that she would be leaving whether her dad was happy for her to do so or not. The only thing Veronica had confidence in was that she needed to leave behind the person she felt herself becoming.

As soon as she graduated, Veronica would be escaping.


End file.
